How It All Got Started

The Beginning of My Healing

I've decided to write about my lessons learned from relationships gone bad or ended.  It starts with my first Ex husband (he has NO NAME and gets NO CREDIT).  That particular time in my life was a roller coaster ride of growing pains and re-self discovery. I refuse to claim wasted time, let's call it a journey.

My divorce was not bitter or even an angry one.  I'd have to describe it as "a business partnership ended".  Oh, don't get me wrong, feelings were running rampant, maybe out of control even, but we were amicable, cordial, and businesslike (for the most part) in front of each other.  It's funny how that one "thing" draws you into a person can become the very knife you duck, avoid and even turn your back on. That "thing"  makes you leave because you realize that you can't deal with it for a lifetime...or you just don't want to.

So many lessons learned on that journey. Lessons my Ex taught me.  Who would have thought that once you stop playing the blame game and pointing fingers, there, could actually be something worth learning and sharing.  A gift from heaven is what this is, truly.  I learned that:

Love comes in shades of red.
Elegant never goes out of style.
I can do it.
God is real.

I don't know if that's the order in which I learned them, but these lessons are branded in my subconscious and whenever necessary, rise to the surface to refresh my mind and spirit. These lessons are what have carried me through the hard times, dark days, and yes, lonely suicidal moments I've endured.  Don't feel sorry for me.  I'm still here!!!  I'm still standing!!!   And, I'm thankful!!!  Thank you Ex husband for sharing your life with me.  Thank you for helping me learn the lessons I needed to become the woman, mother, friend, and daughter I am today.  The road was rough, but I made it to the other side.

About Me

Lessons From My Ex is a journal that I started to maintain a "growth mindset" during and after my divorce.  I just could not wrap my mind around the notion that years of my life had been wasted.  So, instead of becoming bitter and angry (feelings that were most definitely bubbling just under the surface), I decided to journal.  But this journal of mine couldn't be typical ranting and raving.  My writing had to have purpose and meaning.  As an educator, I needed to find the lessons in the divorce. Surely I learned something.  The pain, confusion, and disbelief must have meaning.

Now, years later, I've decided to share some of what I learned.  Hence the title, Lessons From My Ex. I've discovered there are several Exes in my life; ex husband, ex friends, ex bosses, and yes, even a couple of ex family members.  At the end of each relationship I searched for the lesson-What did I learn? What will I do differently? What role did I play, really play?

I'm the mother of two college young men, a classroom educator (because I do much more than "teach"), and a woman on a mission to never look back with regrets.  Past mistakes are over and done.  Learn from them and move forward.  Never stop moving forward.

This blog is me, me moving forward.